And death pried you away from me with his dark fingers

When sleep finally lowers in jaws on me, I thought I would disappear into cracks of reality, into this sweet darkness of unconsciousness where there is nothing but peace from the diseased pavements of life.
However, I entered lucid dreams that revived you from the grave.

I dreamt that you never left. I dreamt that I was going on with life as usual but with you by my side. We were in my room after a raucous night of liquor and karaoke, waxing lyrically on life philosophies and the silly things we talked about, and I was running the tips of my fingers along your arm, breathing in every second of the magical moments I wish I cherished a lot more.

When I woke up abruptly to doors slamming (which I later found out the Thai girl left my landlord after a heated argument) I sank yet into a deeper depth of grief. I lay in bed and fought to fall asleep again, eyes swollen, spilling tears to ease the knot in my chest.

Each sob echoed like cathedral bells. I’ve felt so much, oceans of emotions, smiles and nervous twists of hands that I find myself wrung dry, reduced into nothing but a salty sorrow.

I played old memories of us behind my closed eyelids like an old grainy film, your dimpled smile still visible on the screen of my mind, but they were too fading fast into a series of sepia-coloured blurs, weathered by the passing time.
Time has passed but I can still feel the burnt embers searing along the edges of my memories. But holding onto memory is like trying to hold the sun, and even at the sheer beauty of it stuns, lances straight through me, the punch of pain instant, burning in recollection.

Forgive me for weeping your absence I knew you wanted me to be happy but it's so hard and time only made it more and more difficult. I've cried so much that all those tear drops trickled into the well of my lungs, settling in the bottom and chasing out all the air, deflating them so I drown in this sadness that I never wanted to be familiar with.

I wouldn't even wish this pain upon the worst enemy.