J

I see him in my dreams; in nightmares, tinged with love. Such is the strangeness of the human heart.
I thought my heart had been melted to stone years ago when the one I loved could never be mine, and also when he left the earth way too soon. I thought my soul had died along with his untimely departure, I thought I could never ever develop feelings for anybody any more. I thought love had died along with him.

But you sent continents of my heart careening into my mind, earthquakes of emotions that hovered in my body, you resurrected my heart and made it alive again. You made me want to believe in love, enough to stop taking my medications and try to control the reins of my bipolar.

You taught my heart to rise from its charred remains, you taught my mind to rise away from the dust and horrors of my pass, the carcass of my old life from my slumped shoulders and insecurities.

You created a new land for us, carved from the purity of your heart, the goodness of your intentions, and I shed the skin of angst and pain, embracing the world of you and I; you make me want to close my eyes amd sigh the gentle sigh of infatuation, your loving hands graphing the incline of happiness in my heart.

I stumble like a whisky drunk on your warmth, slipping and tripping on your smile. Focused on the way your eyes crinkle when you smile, the way you look in my eyes that my nerves fishtailed down my spinal cord and you made me feel alive in ways I never knew I could.

I wouldn't choose anyone else to be sleepless with. Only you.

I am still an eroding mess, but the tsunami of emotions you gave made my veins bubble in carbonated joy, and every being of you lodged in the bubbles of my joint, your touch a livewire against mine.

You were like a bouquet of sunbeam that melted the ice of my soul, reconstructing the rhythmic pattern of my pulse, swelling and blistering with strength as time wears on.

You may not read/may not be able to understand what I've written here, for your grasp of the English language is meagre at best - but I think you know how you make me feel. You spread like tar in my lungs, like cancer in my cells, unraveling my insecurities and neurotic fears.

Kiss my fingers with breathless appreciation and hold my hand like it was a mystery; thank you, for pouring blood into my heart; my sweet little one.

To you and I -