How do you forget someone who gave you so much to remember?
I don't know, but somehow I managed it. I guess the knowledge that it's over and how we never really began did it. Even though it felt so real in my heart. My mind and heart was locked in a battle for dominance, and guess what? My head won.
I feel a little lost and empty now, maybe even a little disoriented, having spent my night sketching. It's 1 in the afternoon and I have not rested until now. I could feel energy leaking away from my body, aches beginning to settle in my muscles, fatigue begun to weigh down my eyelids, but I could not bring myself to sleep. Scattered across my bedroom floor were pieces of white paper screaming to be filled with more drawings. O, how my love for fashion and desire to pursue this course has tormented my body.
I've been working so hard, I could barely hear the rumble in my tummy. I turned my speakers up to full volume and drew and drew and drew, stopping only for smokes, a sip of water or a toilet break. Cooped up in my little room, I buried myself in school work efficiently - resulting in a strange sort of clarity I never had naturally. Clarity that are usually induced by anti-depressants. Maybe work is the only way out of this disease.
And... now it's time for some coffee to keep me going. I will conquer schoolwork!
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